My Journey to raising a pampered child

I hope the title did not freak you out nor did it raise some eyebrows.  Most of the times, the word pamper connotes overindulge or spoil.  As a mother beaming with so much love in her heart, I can say that indeed, I am raising a pampered child as I am overindulging him with kindness, love and attention.  I am feeding my son with all the love in the world as the positive feeling that emanates from this motherly love will definitely accompany him in this journey called life. 

I am very gracious, generous and very giving to my son.  He is now 8 years old but he still sits on my lap, he still asks that I cuddle him, he asks that I embrace him a lot.  I still tuck him to the bed as requested, we still play and read together.  He demands that Mom and Dad spend time with him.  Is he overreacting?  Am I overindulging my 8 year old son?  I don’t think so.  I am just a mom willingly giving in to my son’s whims. 

And why I am willingly giving in to my son’s whims?  I believe that he is at a growing up stage where he must be confident and secured of himself.  And  parental love and attention is a sure approach in promoting a child’s security.  He must feel loved, sheltered, protected yet at the same time, he should feel that he is independent and that he will grow to be the person that he is meant to be, different from mom and dad. The challenging balance lies in showing him what love is, the goodness in life but not making him feel entitled at all. 

We are blessed as we have the opportunity to buy him the books and toys that he wants.  We are not materially wealthy.  But we are blessed with good jobs which are our partners in improving the quality of our lives.  Having said that, we always instill in our son the value and importance of hard work, mindful and smart spending.  I would always tell him stories on how different my childhood was (my father was the sole breadwinner.  Food, shelter and education were the priorities prior to toys.  It is a good think I have 5 brothers who I played with) so he will value all the books and toys that he has.  I also remind him that our material possessions are products of our time spent away from each other, as we work hard and thus, we should value them.  Nobody gave us anything for free. With the toys and books, comes the responsibility to take care of them, arrange them, put them in order and treat them with love and respect.  I am indulging in my son´s needs and whims yet at the same time, I am strict with his responsibility.  At a young age, I am already letting him know of the value of accountability. 

My son loves to be the center of my world.  I am there when he tells me to come over to his room or whenever he tells me that he wants me to carry him.  I lovingly do that because I know that when is bigger, his world, his priorities and his  outlook will change.  Maybe being around with mom will become too mushy and cheesy for him.  I spoil my son yet he understands and respects our personal space.  He perfectly recognizes and acknowledges that sometimes, after a day of hard work or after a challenging week, mom and dad just want to stare at a blank space. Hahahaha He respects when at times, I have to say no.  He also compromises.  On the nights that I would do my yoga/meditation, he would tell me to cuddle him after my meditation session.  That shows that my son albeit pampered is understanding as well.  

Raising a pampered, sheltered and too much loved child is never wrong.  But as loving parents, we can do ourselves and our children a big favor by encouraging pure love and not materialism.  After all, love and memories will linger.

Fostering multiculturalism in our household

Aside from being bilingual at Spanish and English and kicking off with his tagalog (my national language from the Philippines), my son is in touch and connected with our world. He understands how big and diverse our universe is.  That even if we come from different background and ethnic groups or origin, we are all the same and that respect is primordial in our dealings. School also plays an important role in promoting diversity and multiculturalism.  They have lectures about global and specific traditions.  

Travelling is indeed one of the best, if not the best form of immersion and understanding other cultures.  In my case, I do not have the luxury of time and resources to dedicate a lot of time travelling. In this post, I would like to share with you personal tips and experiences to  increase awareness on multiculturalism.  These can be applied directly in our household.  With these, I am very happy to say that I am raising a multicultural kid. :) 

1.  Take the time to address the inquisitive kid:  My son has been and continues to be curious about practices and traditions specific to certain countries.  He would ask why most Japanese sit during mealtime, why is it customary to remove your footwear when you are entering an Asian household, why is curry or spices core ingredients in the Indian cuisine, time differences, etc.  We take these questions as opportunities to sit down and talk about lifestyle, history or practices across the globe. Another easier approach is to start showing your child about Wikipedia :) which is a go to online "encyclopedia" :)  However, it is advisable that kids are accompanied whenever they navigate online.  

2.  We buy books about other countries/cultures and read them together:  We have books about Chinese, Japanese, Indian/Hindu, etc cultures and languages.  These books were selected by our child and we read them together so it is a learning experience for all of us.  We really invest on books.  We may have limitations travelling but a curious mind is limitless and books are great instruments in empowering a curious mind.  

3.  Museum and cultural trips:  My son is already 8 years old so we are able to go to museums and catch contemporary artists and their works.  The paintings or work of arts are most of the time reflection of the culture, mindset of the artist and his upbringing.  We also take the time to go to flea markets and events highlighting a specific tradition or holiday of a country, for example:  Chinese New Year, Thanksgiving, etc.  

4.  Watch movies or youtube videos in original version:  Even if we are fluent in Spanish, English and Tagalog, we prefer watching in original version.  My son has watched many kid friendly anime movies in Nihonggo (Ponyo, Kiki´s Delivery Express, Wolf Children Ame and Yuki, Totoro, Spirited Away, etc), in Italian, Portuguese and original movies in English such as Harry Potter series, Nanny McPhee series, etc.  Watching international movies increases our idea on other cultures and lifestyles.  My son has an idea of how agricultural some countries and some areas are and what type of lifestyle such entails. He also understands that weather and climate are different across the globe and the lifestyle involved in the different climates. Again, watching youtube videos should be supervised.

  

5.  Cook different cuisines and have your child as your sous chef:  My son recently asked me about Kaju Burfi which is a typical dessert/sweet in India.  He learned it from the school.  We would prepare food of other countries.  We are experts with our Spanish and Tagalog/Filipino dishes.  From time to time, we prepare tiramisu, pizza and pasta (Italian), arepas (Venezuelan), chinese cuisine, Indian curry, English fish and chips, etc.  As we go through the preparation process, we talk about the essence of the food on the culture.  I still remember how my son one time said that he felt that we were in Mexico because we had home made fajitas and tacos! Hahahaha  

6. DIne out and be adventurous with food:  This is an alternative to cooking.  Sometimes, when we dine out, the restaurant has the cultural vibe.  In cases that cooking a particular cuisine is difficult, we would dine out if our time and resources can afford.  We have our go to Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, Italian, American, Spanish and Chinese restaurants. And my son is such a trooper!  

7.  Do artworks together:  This is a creative, sweet and fun bonding time together.  My son and I would write a story book about Italian characters, we would make cut out pieces of Indian accessories, we would draw our dream Japanese temple, etc.  This is a very stimulating activity.  

8.  Playgroups:  As Madrid is an international friendly community, I bonded with foreigner moms like me -  Latin American, Japanese, Taiwanese, Chinese, Italian, Spanish, French and my fellow Filipino/Pinoy mothers and we would from time to time organize playgroups with our kids.  We would meet up in parks and have potluck where we would have our local cuisine, snacks as contribution.  It is a very good bonding time for the kids and moms as well!  

*** photo not mine.  downloaded from the internet.  credit to the owner. 

I hope you will find these useful.  I would love to hear from you on how you encourage multiculturalism in your household.  

Thank you and take care! 

Road to Wellness: Me time, my time. :)

One of the improvements that I have applied in my life as I cope with my anxiety is my me time, my time.  I am really valuing my quality time with myself, spending time with me alone and at some point doing the thing/s that make/s me happy.  I am very grateful that I have an open minded and supportive husband who eggs me on to keep on doing this.  I am also very grateful that I have my son who is a natural 8 year old - naughty and nice but at the same time, his "maturity" shows on the occasions that I have some anxiety attacks.  

So what is this me time, my time?  Though the answer is very obvious, it requires a lot of conscious effort, mindfulness to enjoy your own company, dedicate a generous amount of whatever is left as your free time to self-care, essentially, doing something that makes you happy.  It need not be extravagant nor luxurious.  

Why is me time, my time important?  This is the time where you connect to yourself, introspect, retrospect, feel the nerves of your entire body, hear your own breathing, flex your muscles, do nothing, be at your own pace. As this is about you, it is a serene, unhurried, relaxing activity.  As very busy individuals, we need that time to disconnect. 

How can you spend your me time, my time? As mentioned earlier, it need not be expensive nor whimsical.  Here are some of the activities that work well for me. 

1.  Yoga, stretching, meditation.  For additional information on meditation, please visit my previous posts: Finding my silence and Mindfulness

2.  Cooking:  In as much as I love to have my son with me in the kitchen as we whip our dishes together, I find tranquility being in the kitchen by myself and cooking at my pace.  In order to have a win-win situation, I usually have my son with me during breakfast preparation (he has already perfected the recipe for a homemade pancake jejeje) and then from lunch, snacks and dinner preparation, I am usually alone in the kitchen.  My son usually hops in from time to time but that is okay.  :) I find peace and fulfillment slicing the ingredients, smelling the aromatic scent of sauted garlic, onion and ginger hahaha, and cleaning and organizing the kitchen.  :)  

3.  Reading, writing, blogging 

4.  Organizing: This is similar to de-cluttering and putting your things in order.  As you go through this pace of making things spic and span, as Marie Kondo´s konmari method advocated, there is a feeling of an inner force extending order, serenity and peace to you! 

5.  Singing or listening to music -any music that you like - rock, ballads, pop, classical, latin, name it. :) 

6.  Walking, Footing 

7.  Eating alone. :)  I am a firm believer that eating alone is healthy. :) You connect with your food, feeling and tasting your food, enjoying the experience of simply existing and eating.  

8.  Looking at pictures:  This is a very powerful tool that brings back smile on our faces as we recall the time, place and familiar feeling that go with the picture.  This is always a sentimental journey with me as I live far from my original family. :)  

9.  Massage:  I am a passionate lover and self confessed supporter of massage.  In fact, when I moved here to Spain, I immediately looked for a massage spa.  :) And since then, I have been a regular clients of The Organic Spa and Yo me Cuido  I am regular client of Kobido (Japanese traditional facial), strong hard massage jajajaja, aromatherapeutic massage and thai massage.  

10.  Watching movie alone:  It is always nice to watch a movie with my family. However, watching a movie alone is the time when I can be more relaxed as I have only myself as my company.  I can buy my cinema ticket at my pace, I can choose not to order popcorn or probably have salted popcorn instead of the caramel one, hehehe etc. 

11.  Sewing

12.  Surfing the internet - looking at online shops though not necessarily buying 

13.  Maintaining a "thank you" jar:  This is where you put a thank you note, gratitude note to somebody or something that has made your extraordinary day even more extraordinary tantamount to making it more awesome!  

14.  Make a list of your personal projects, objectives and start making baby steps to fulfilling them! 

15.  Praying.  This is always my silver lining, my ray of hope. After all, when man prays, God works. 

A memorable family get-away: A visit to the Tuscany Region (Florence, Siena and Pisa)

We were blessed with the opportunity to visit the Tuscany region in Italy.  We had this trip planned early on to manage our logistics - approved vacation leaves, no major conflicts with the school activities/school day and affordable airfare and accommodation.  

It was my idea to go to the Tuscany region.  I have heard so many positive, beautiful feedback about Florence! In fact, all the people I know that have been to Florence had nothing but awesome feedback about their trip.  It was a good thing that the airfare and the hotel accommodation were all within our budget range. :) And besides, I have this notion that Italy is a romantic place.  :) 

In this post, I would like to share with you our family friendly itinerary and the joys that we´ve had during this trip to the Tuscany region.  We stayed most of our 6 day holiday in Florence, spent one full day in Siena and half day in Pisa.  This was absolutely a memorable and truly happy trip - the hotel, which is a 3 star hotel is wonderful!  The staff is friendly, accommodating, helpful and multilingual!  The service is great!  The location is just spot on! The taxi drivers were nice.  The restaurants food and the service were all great!  The only downside if I may say, and actually a minor downside, was that it rained one day. The rest was fabulous! 

Hotel:  We stayed in Hotel Cosimo de Medici, situated in the Santa Maria Novella area.  This is very central, accessible to the train station which we took to go to Pisa and to the bus station which we took to go to Siena.  There are many ristorantes (restaurants) and trattorias (restos serving family meals) within the area.  There are also many small groceries just in case you would prefer to buy something light and eat at your pace, convenience.  The hotel service was amazing! The staff -cleaning ladies, reception, kitchen, were all polite, multilingual, helpful and very accommodating.   The breakfast area, in terms of space is properly maximized.  The breakfast buffet, which goes with the accommodation package provides a wide variety of selection - continental and european breakfast!  Our room was neatly organized and cleaned on a daily basis.  

Visit to Siena:  We took a bus ride which was almost 1,5 hours one way.  The bus ride was smooth and relaxing. It is advisable to know your schedule ahead so you know which bus you will take.  Buses leave every 20 minutes.  

Visit to Pisa:  We took a train ride which was 1 hour one way.  From the Pisa Train Station, we took a local bus that took us to the area of the Baptistery, Duomo and Leaning tower of Pisa.  It is advisable to visit the website of the train company and know your schedule so you would be able to buy your ticket ahead of time.  This is a very busy train terminal.  

What to do and visit in Florence?  

Florence is a city designed for walking.  This is a place where you can absolutely hold hands with your love ones while walking!  :)  

1.  Santa Maria Novella 

2.  Duomo - there is an entrance fee of 18€/head which includes the visit to the Duomo, Bell Tower and  Baptistery.  However, this cost does not include the visit/climb to the Dome itself as it requires a long notice period.  From the outisde, the Duomo boasts of its unique architecture and design, the usage of the marble as statement pieces were really a statement!  A visit here gave me the 15th century feels! 

3.  Ponte Vecchio - this literally means the Old Bridge.  This is a long stretch, avenue where each side is occupied by jewelry and local artisans´merchandises.  What makes this avenue really enchanting is the beautiful river and the hanging stores. Again, walking here gave me the vintage vibe!  

4.  Uffizi Museum -  this is a MUST! Definitely a MUST when you visit Florence!! Entrance here costs 11€/head.  There are no elevators, the stairs are wide and you have to climb the first 3 floors walking on stairs, again no elevators. BUT EVERYTHING IS JUST OH SO WORTH IT!!! We stayed here for 4,5 hours.  It was jaw dropping, astonishing to see the works of the great artists such as Michael Angelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael and Botticelli!  We were able to see how the gears were shifted during the Renaissance period!  Botticelli made the difference - The Birth of Venus, Primavera (Spring, etc).  We were also able to see the sculptures of Tristan and Isolde, Cupid and Daphne.  This was really one of the best museums that we have ever seen! 

5.  Pitti Museum - this also an entrance fee of 8€/head.  Make sure that you visit this place early in the morning as they close around 5pm.  And there are so many places to visit here.  A kid friendly area is the Boboli Gardens, which is in the exterior part of the palace and will enable your kids to jump, run and freely move around.  This is a well-maintained palace and huge.  

6.  Plaza de la Republica - this is a big square where you can enjoy sight seeing, basking in the beautiful architectures of the buildings.  This is tourist-heavy so take care while walking and don´t lose sight of your kiddos.  

7.  Plaza de la Signoria - this square is filled with lots of youngsters and is like a museum in open air!  It is beautiful, lively, with amazing sculptures.  

8.  Iglesia de Santa Croce (Holy Cross) 

9.  Leonardo da Vinci Museum - this is a haven for kids! We stayed here for another 3,5 hours and my son was just himself here!  This is the place where you and your kid can enjoy the works of Leonardo da Vinci and at the same time, out yourself in the shoes of Leonardo, as you can see, touch and play with the gallery items exposing the theories and methods used by Leonardo da Vinci. Entrance fee is 8€/head.  

10.  Academia Gallery is the museum where you can see Michaelangelo´s masterpiece, the original David, made of marble.  This is the centerpiece of this museum.  Entrance fee is 11€/head.   

11.  Florence also boasts of its Italian leather and it seemed to me that there are genuine leather bags and other crafts store in every street.  You can haggle/negotiate for a lower price if you were to buy some of their leather items.  Otherwise, you can simply enjoy looking at the leather goods! They are eye candies! 

10.  We ate in the Mercato, which has a very good ambiance.  Food is great and fairly reasonable.  We had very good pizzas, pasta and cannolis!! There are also very good trattorias/ristorantes. However, be ready as there can be an overload of carbs. Hehehehe Btw, the ice creams are just great! Who says you can´t eat ice cream during winter? Hahahahah 

12.  On a personal note, we bought as souvenir of this very beautiful trip, the Uffizi Museum Gallery book, some toys, including experimental toys from Leonardo da Vinci museum for my son (as he has been watching Italian cartoons) and some leather goods.  

What to do and visit in Siena?  We took the bus and had a day trip to Siena.  This is another city built for walking.  We visited the Siena Cathedral, House of St, Catherine of Siena (as I studied in a Catherinean school), Piazza del Campo and Siena downtown.  We also had the typical Tuscany dish here (fegato pasta - chicken liver pasta, pasta aglio).  The old buildings are a sight to behold! The piazza del campo is a relaxing place even if there is a lot of vibe!  

What to do and see in Pisa?   We spent half day in Pisa where we went to see the trio of the Baptistery, Duomo and the Leaning Tower of Pisa.