Most of my friends address me as Badaf or Vaklush because of my cheery, optimistic disposition associated with my distinct high pitched (?), loud, resonating laughter. Hahahaha I still remember ex colleagues and even current colleagues telling me that they know that I am within the work area because of my laughter. Hehehehe
As I struggled with anxiety disorder and panic attacks, I must admit that there was a point that I felt a totally different person - I was afraid, I missed my laughter, I was restless, I was very cautious. Thank God with His healing grace and compassion, with my medication, and my other physical activities such as acupunture, footing, meditation, I am slowly going back to my normal life. Needless to say, I still have a looooong way to go.
As I reflect in this period when I fought anxiety (and continue to fight it), one of my biggest take away (this is so corporate term hahaha) is the need to stay calm. It is actually a skill that can be practiced and acquired. When faced with restlessness, sudden confusion, discomfort, our first reaction is to pant, to panic... But staying calm, closing our eyes, taking a deep breath, feeling and relaxing our muscles, calm our nerves, calm our thoughts to the point that we can just shrug off the panic/anxiety attack. Meditation has been very helpful in helping me practice mindfulness and applying techniques to fully live the present moment.
Aside from staying calm, the young at heart hahaahhaa and the positive soul in me would like to add to STAY VAKLUSH. :) In my terms, staying vaklush means:
1. Consistently arming ourselves with a happy thought - family anecdotes, crazy movie scenes or whatever that will always spark a sudden feeling of happiness in us. Sometimes, looking at photo albums also rekindle beautiful memories.
2. SPOTIFY!!!! Music!!! I once read a quote saying "can you imagine a world without music?" That must be terrible. Music is like food to our soul. Right now music is very accessible. So load your mobile phones, tablets with playlists that are close to your heart. I have a wide variety of collection in my Spotify.. I have mindfulness/anti stress, old songs (Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams era hehehe), pop music, soundtracks, Korean and Mandarin Pop, and of course Tagalog and Spanish songs. I have an emotional connection with these playlists. This also means that we can sing to our hearts delight and it does not matter if we are out of tune! At this age, nobody should care. Hahahahaha
3. Feel Good. This is an overall package/overall feeling of feeling good, looking good and loving your aura. Feeling good means embracing, sincerely accepting our limitations and our imperfections (after all, nobody is perfect), dwelling and nurturing our strengths as they will enable us to contribute better, acquiring a new skill to hone our capabilities and sometimes looking good. Looking good does not mean buying the most expensive shoes, bags, clothing, jewelry that is available in the market. Rather looking good is being comfortable in your skin. I know that I am already in my early 40s but during summer, I am most comfortable wearing shorts and cotton shirt. Maybe too casual for a mom like me, yet it works for me. During winter, I love wearing mini skirts with my wool socks. They key here is to love your reflection in your mirror. To always smile. It is a mental mindset and yes! it is achievable!
4. Take care of yourself. Charity begins at home. You cannot give what you do not have. If you are exhausted, it is quite difficult to give a sincere, happy, joyous love and service to your family. You may easily snap in the process. Taking care of ourselves is crucial because this means that we must listen to our body.. When we are tired, we puase, stop and prioritize our things. Not even Noah´s ark was built in one day. We need to prioritize our household chores, we need to have a work life balance sometimes in spite of the long hours at work plus the commuting time. Taking care of yourself also means pamper yourself... on a weekend, which I usually do, I fill my tub with hot water and I spend half an hour just soaked in the water; taking care of one´s self also means putting a facial mask every other day, haing your nails done, going to the salon or simply having your me time even if it meant eating alone in McDonalds or in the Ritz Hotel restaurant. I am not afraid to eat alone. In fact, to me it is a sign of personal strength and I am a firm believer that eating alone is healthy because you actually disconnect and just enjoy the process of eating. :) Travelling/going on vacation is also a good therapy.
5. Stay connected with people that matter to you: never be afraid to make the first move to get in touch. Surely, there will be times that your call will be rejected or your message is not answered but keep in touch. This has been very helpful to me as I am living outside my country of birth and I am far from my closest friends.
6. Buy beautiful, colorful flowers as they add up character in your mansionette. Hahahaha
7. Sincerely praise people and sincerely look on the positive characters of people. Let us not dwell on the negative.
8. Watch Korean Dramas. Hahahahaah
9. Laugh to your heart´s desires. Laugh loud, as if there is no tomorrow.
10. Pray. When man prays, God works. Nothing is impossible with God.
I continue to be a work in progress but I am hopeful that everything will be back to normal. I will continue to KEEP CALM AND STAY VAKLUSH, for my sanity, peace of mind and for my family. So help me God!!
Happy weekend!!!
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