My Journey to raising a pampered child

I hope the title did not freak you out nor did it raise some eyebrows.  Most of the times, the word pamper connotes overindulge or spoil.  As a mother beaming with so much love in her heart, I can say that indeed, I am raising a pampered child as I am overindulging him with kindness, love and attention.  I am feeding my son with all the love in the world as the positive feeling that emanates from this motherly love will definitely accompany him in this journey called life. 

I am very gracious, generous and very giving to my son.  He is now 8 years old but he still sits on my lap, he still asks that I cuddle him, he asks that I embrace him a lot.  I still tuck him to the bed as requested, we still play and read together.  He demands that Mom and Dad spend time with him.  Is he overreacting?  Am I overindulging my 8 year old son?  I don’t think so.  I am just a mom willingly giving in to my son’s whims. 

And why I am willingly giving in to my son’s whims?  I believe that he is at a growing up stage where he must be confident and secured of himself.  And  parental love and attention is a sure approach in promoting a child’s security.  He must feel loved, sheltered, protected yet at the same time, he should feel that he is independent and that he will grow to be the person that he is meant to be, different from mom and dad. The challenging balance lies in showing him what love is, the goodness in life but not making him feel entitled at all. 

We are blessed as we have the opportunity to buy him the books and toys that he wants.  We are not materially wealthy.  But we are blessed with good jobs which are our partners in improving the quality of our lives.  Having said that, we always instill in our son the value and importance of hard work, mindful and smart spending.  I would always tell him stories on how different my childhood was (my father was the sole breadwinner.  Food, shelter and education were the priorities prior to toys.  It is a good think I have 5 brothers who I played with) so he will value all the books and toys that he has.  I also remind him that our material possessions are products of our time spent away from each other, as we work hard and thus, we should value them.  Nobody gave us anything for free. With the toys and books, comes the responsibility to take care of them, arrange them, put them in order and treat them with love and respect.  I am indulging in my son´s needs and whims yet at the same time, I am strict with his responsibility.  At a young age, I am already letting him know of the value of accountability. 

My son loves to be the center of my world.  I am there when he tells me to come over to his room or whenever he tells me that he wants me to carry him.  I lovingly do that because I know that when is bigger, his world, his priorities and his  outlook will change.  Maybe being around with mom will become too mushy and cheesy for him.  I spoil my son yet he understands and respects our personal space.  He perfectly recognizes and acknowledges that sometimes, after a day of hard work or after a challenging week, mom and dad just want to stare at a blank space. Hahahaha He respects when at times, I have to say no.  He also compromises.  On the nights that I would do my yoga/meditation, he would tell me to cuddle him after my meditation session.  That shows that my son albeit pampered is understanding as well.  

Raising a pampered, sheltered and too much loved child is never wrong.  But as loving parents, we can do ourselves and our children a big favor by encouraging pure love and not materialism.  After all, love and memories will linger.